Saturday, April 27, 2013

Song Review - Fantasy by Aldo Nova

Everything that is awesome about generic eighties rock is on this album.
If someone asked me to defend shitty eighties rock, specifically the early eighties kind of garbage rock, I'd have one name for them... Aldo Nova. Not the artist, because nobody cares about him. I'm referring to his 1982 self titled debut album, which was everything horribly awesome about commercial eighties rock. Specifically the album's first track, the big hit from the album (and really, Aldo Nova's entire recording career) - Fantasy.

Note - the song itself starts about 1:30 into the video. Before that, it's just complete nonsense

I know that Fantasy is about as far from an actual defense of this kind of stuff as you can get - if you hate early eighties commercial rock music, you will despise this song. But if you like it, then you probably can't bring yourself to not love this song.

Puke green Dodge St. Regis - the official car of Sledge Hammer.
This is the kind of song that would be played in an low budget hard-R eighties cop movie as the hard boiled cop on the edge cruises the Sunset Strip in a lime green Dodge St. Regis to pick up a hooker and some coke.

So, part of the reason I like this song is because it reminds me of a type of movie I like, even if it was never used in one of those movies. But I also like it because it's a defining song of this type of music and it exemplifies everything I love about it. It's a cheesy song with just as much synthesizer as guitar, the lyrics are generic 'life on the streets' fare written by a French Canadian rock musician who would later go on to do session work for Michael Bolton and Celine Dion - yeah, man, Aldo Nova's from the streets. Come on, he's like the Canadian version of Tommy Shaw from Styx. That's not a compliment.

Nobody ever accused this kind of music of being sincere or intelligent. If they did, they're either kidding or they're stupid.

The part of this video that people remember is the opening. Some dorky looking guy in a bowtie is standing around holding a guitar with some guys holding guns standing around him in what is probably meant to look like a shipping yard at night, but is more than likely a warehouse indoors, because every eighties music video was shot inside of a warehouse. Then, they lower a cheap helicopter prop from the ceiling. And then, this steps out of the chopper.

Nice pajamas, dork.
The guy in the bowtie is no longer the dorkiest guy there, because while bowties are dorky, they're not nearly as dorky as tight leopard print pajamas. They go over to a door, Aldo Nova shoots it with his guitar lazer and they go inside so Aldo Nova can lip synch his song to a group of central casting hires in a warehouse made to look like a night club.

To my original point about this being a defense of this kind of music. It only is if you like the stuff. If you're like me, then this was awesome. If you're not, then you think I'm a moron. And you're probably right.

But at least I'm not wearing leopard print pajamas.

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